The end of a story.

When I gave this precious heart,
Day by day, the closer she experienced my center.
Affix I became to her as we grew.
I was very much present and in the moments.

I honored her.
I repented.
I pursued her.
I desired her.
I poured out.

Things were serene.
My thoughts were hers.
Rejected at times,
But nevertheless I'm still hers.
My lips were hers.
I cared considerably.

A day it was when soberness I became.
This day I came to play,
In return I was burned.
And twas painful.
Again and again I chose to play,
Hoping a difference,
Yet what I once enjoyed,
Now became blind to the fragility
of my dear heart.

Another day I went to pray.
Seeking to know my own heart,
and wanting to know His.
The word came to an end.
Disappointment filled me,
yet hope was still great.

No longer was I to give my heart.
I surgically removed a part of me.
I wept inside and I said goodbye.
My heart knows a deeper sting.

Openness hurts.
But today I stand more than I was.
My case rests on Him.
For tomorrow brings new hope.
My precious center restored.
Still this desire exists.
This cultivated heart shall belong to..?

Cleansing

An honest man must see his own wretchedness,
and understand he cannot come to purity of mind and heart,
without the obedience of will to the hand who fashioned him.

Love is best deepened in trials of tribulation.
Love requires all that is within.
Love progresses in time,
when man deliberately confronts depravity,
and reject its influences.

It is love to obey, when complying produces holiness.
To Love holiness is perfecting personhood.

Look and see

Integrity will be the test...
Hidden Eyes upon him...
You see such power and authority...
How majestic...
Freedom shall reign...

Perception is all that you have...
Promising are his ways...
Consistent will he be...
Where is this joy found..?

Dignified.
Stoic.
Discerning.
Deliberate.
Gentle.

Definition is found in Love...
Truth shall be his maker...
Always with him is his confidence...
Who stands before you..?


Is a son.
A playful cub.
Eternally beloved.
Courageous servant.
Hope embodies him.
A heart of treasure.
A lions heart.

Beneath it all.

I see hope in the gaze of your eyes.
Your laughters echo tenderness to me.
Do you know true beauty shines when the heart is free?

It is no mystery where you come from.
Sprinkles of joy befall me.
Giver is what you deliver.
I see you and your pretty things.

Discerning I look and see.
Truly your heart is free.
Hopes and fear I sense lurk deep within.
Yet secure in faith, the greater things shall arrive.
This your soul knows well, for love is to be alive.

Keep flying, I say!
Soar and glide with dignity.
Keep running, I say!
Enjoy the scene with strength and endurance.

A gift most precious.
Above all objects;
Worthy than jewels of the world.
The perfect gift is a person inside, made of wonder.
To you, I honor.
Be great and loving!
To His little girl.

Unyielding devotion

I felt it in my bones.
Weak, frail, and starving I was.
The mind dwelled in fear.
How shall I be?
Broken is a portion within.
The soul grows a thirst.
Struggling to cowardice.
You maneuvered so stealthily.

Once was I, a fool.
But this day, sword beheld sharpened and tested.
No longer a stranger to your ways.
My heart shall not consume hallow promises.
With no little courage I fix my spirit against you.

Always I remember this covenant I bear, rooted, built-up and established.
I have struck down beasts and dragons and you shall be like one of them.
"This day the Lord will deliver you into my hands, and I will strike you down and cut off your head."

This heart roars with thunders of righteousness.
These eyes behold piercing vision beyond earthly ways.
This mind consumes purity and demolishes the crooked.
This spirit united to the holy, holy, holy.
Timeless Love defines this figured clay.
"in Him I live and move and have my being."
"To Him who sit on, heaven's mercy seat."

An honest confession.

This is where I am.
I'm happy, hopeful, but sad.
I'm happy that I get to share my affections and receive yours.
I'm hopeful about what God is doing in your life, in mine, and what this relationship could be like.
I'm sad that my heart and mind is drifting from you.
I'm sad because I'm hurt by what you mean behind your spoken words.
I'm pleased by who your are.
I perceive you are intelligent, amiable, empathetic, established in God, Potentially the best you can, and a working progress.
I'm displeased because there are things we do not have in common and cannot share together, and these things I hold to be important.
I perceive we have values and convictions that do not overlap.
I pray for you to be blessed- transformed more by God, the way He intended and most definitely lead you in the way He purposefully called you to and designed you for.
I am a friend to you and you are a friend to me.
I thank you for your patience and the nice things you do.
I thank you for forgiving me when I failed to be a good man to you and by my err simultaneously dishonoring God.
I'm grateful for the tender and dreamlike moments you shared with me.
I'm grateful for accepting my silliness and seeing me for who I am.
I'm grateful, God blessed me with you to transform my heart to be more than it was.
I honor you with my thoughts.
I miss you.
But this I understand, you belong to God and I belong to Him as well.
I hope I was not troublesome to you.
You are a good woman.
I was willing to work things out, but there is too much resistance on the other side for me to endure.
I'm not always right and I gladly admit.
My heart is mine to hold, to keep, to nurture, to guard, to give, and I owe my heart first to God.
My heart submits and abides in Him.
My heart's allegiance is His.
I have received authority over my heart.
I'm committed to do right for God and I will do what's right for me.
I wish for enjoyment in your next chapter.
Farewell dear friend.

Dear His little girl,

I am not the strongest of men; rather I am frail and a broken cistern. There are many things I have pridefully searched and found utterly anticlimactic on MY OWN accord that helped me realize more and more; I cannot lead my own life.

Today I live redeemed, still affected by my prideful desires. But do know this fact about me: My hope is in God and in Him I am defined. My greatest desire is to embody God’s love and to joyfully live this life to eternity. To give the Father, Son and Holy Spirit all of me, from which all that I do is directed and influenced by HIM.

Pursuing you has tested my inner man and still I am being challenged to this day. God has led me thus far in this process of our relationship from strangers to friends and to significant friends with romantic affectionate benefits. I so earnestly want the best for you and at times I know the things I feel are the best for you are NOT, instead they are for my selfish pleasures. I find that it is easy for me to protect you from outside harm apart from me, but the truest struggle at times is protecting you from my self. This will NOT be the death of our right relationship, nor be the barrier that hinders us from pursuing God with all that we are as individuals and as a unit together.

I have committed myself long ago to do what is honorable in the presence of God, even if it shall hurt me to the end, purifying in its purpose. God says it is better to suffer for His sake when things become difficult and this my soul knows well. I like you very much, but I cannot be with you if God does not trust me to hold you. You are in my life and I consider you to be a blessing, which leads me to think that God believes I CAN care for “His little girl.” There is still much that I need to learn about this kind of relationship I have with you. I want to be a good son, a good friend, and a good man to you.

You are beautiful to me. I see your heart’s desire to experience only the most glorious things in life. You are a delight to be around. You are precious because God says you are. My heartbeat accelerates when you give me your undivided attention. I wish you could taste how awesome it is for me to feel this way about you. I see wisdom is your clothing. I support all of these and more.

I thank you for touching me in a way that I feel profoundly cared for. Thank you for embracing me for who I am: the good, the silly, the serious/thinky, the bad, and the curious… plus more. I thank you for trusting me and putting exertion/ effort in our relationship. I thank you for allowing God to work through you.

I am excited to see what God has in store for us as son and daughter. I am excited for our relationship, to where God will lead it. God defines how we should interpret our experiences. To you, I give you my word: I shall live by what I believe, feel and say in submission or abiding in LOVE, Christ Love.