Dear His little girl,

I am not the strongest of men; rather I am frail and a broken cistern. There are many things I have pridefully searched and found utterly anticlimactic on MY OWN accord that helped me realize more and more; I cannot lead my own life.

Today I live redeemed, still affected by my prideful desires. But do know this fact about me: My hope is in God and in Him I am defined. My greatest desire is to embody God’s love and to joyfully live this life to eternity. To give the Father, Son and Holy Spirit all of me, from which all that I do is directed and influenced by HIM.

Pursuing you has tested my inner man and still I am being challenged to this day. God has led me thus far in this process of our relationship from strangers to friends and to significant friends with romantic affectionate benefits. I so earnestly want the best for you and at times I know the things I feel are the best for you are NOT, instead they are for my selfish pleasures. I find that it is easy for me to protect you from outside harm apart from me, but the truest struggle at times is protecting you from my self. This will NOT be the death of our right relationship, nor be the barrier that hinders us from pursuing God with all that we are as individuals and as a unit together.

I have committed myself long ago to do what is honorable in the presence of God, even if it shall hurt me to the end, purifying in its purpose. God says it is better to suffer for His sake when things become difficult and this my soul knows well. I like you very much, but I cannot be with you if God does not trust me to hold you. You are in my life and I consider you to be a blessing, which leads me to think that God believes I CAN care for “His little girl.” There is still much that I need to learn about this kind of relationship I have with you. I want to be a good son, a good friend, and a good man to you.

You are beautiful to me. I see your heart’s desire to experience only the most glorious things in life. You are a delight to be around. You are precious because God says you are. My heartbeat accelerates when you give me your undivided attention. I wish you could taste how awesome it is for me to feel this way about you. I see wisdom is your clothing. I support all of these and more.

I thank you for touching me in a way that I feel profoundly cared for. Thank you for embracing me for who I am: the good, the silly, the serious/thinky, the bad, and the curious… plus more. I thank you for trusting me and putting exertion/ effort in our relationship. I thank you for allowing God to work through you.

I am excited to see what God has in store for us as son and daughter. I am excited for our relationship, to where God will lead it. God defines how we should interpret our experiences. To you, I give you my word: I shall live by what I believe, feel and say in submission or abiding in LOVE, Christ Love.

is satan real?

God is real and so is satan.

It has come to my attention that it is good to have a clear and real understanding that satan and demons exist. As much as I believe in angels and God with His mighty infinite strength, I cannot be so naive that the devil does not have powers in this world and is capable of destroying my life even if I am a son of the most high, or genuinely am a Christian. I am not claiming or declaring that my God has no sovereignty over everything, but what I am deliberating with my written words is, your a fool to think that demons don't exist and can have no harmful affect/effects in your life.

Spiritual warfare is very real. Its too often we forget or don't even believe because of reasons such as these: we cannot see spiritual warfare tangibly, we expect something dramatically awful that it would be difficult not to notice it (like a shark taking chunk of your body in one bite), we naively believe the fact that God will protect us, without any participation on our part to actually practice or equip ourselves with the spiritual disciplines from God, or simply we are in denial that evilness actually lurks within our lives. It's hard to understand how evil works, when we do not understand how sin applies to our practical lives. Sin in our lives is the influence of and a well executed devised plan of satan.

Truth about the work of the spiritual evil ones:

He is subtle with his strategy to destroy you. He has one objective in your life, to have you go to hell and taste the freshness of pain, suffering and agony that will NEVER END, God forsaken place of eternity. Any kind of relationship that you have with people is the main instrument the evil one will have you participate in sin and have sin caused upon you. His strategy of manipulating you to sin is geometrically progressive, which means he'll trap you with small enticing and seemingly non-harmful sins (yet still a sin) that has a snowball effect; you later find yourself deep and lost in a sinful dark world. His deceptions and lies are most powerful and truth sounding in areas where you feel inadequate, insecure, and hurt. He will manipulate you to think that your close loved ones are your enemies. He has a way to make you doubt yourself. His main weapon is the scare tactic. He will give you all that you want, but NOT as soul quenching and satisfying as you had hoped and in the end you still feel empty and definitely depressed. He'll give you success in the way your pride defines it but in reality you sold or exchanged your soul for a moment's pleasure. He does a good job of distracting you with the things you like most. He will make you feel alone, that no one truly cares about you. You will know that he has a hold of you, when you have become ungrateful, pessimistic of everything, cannot trust anyone, you're constantly angry, unforgiving, bitter toward strangers and to many friends, judgmental/non-accepting of people, your thoughts are filled with lust, violence, evil exploitations and crudeness, and a narcissist. He will deceive you to believe your emotional feeling of experiences hold precedent over what is actually true or fact in reality. He'll make you feel powerful and love by many; but this power makes you obsessively paranoid and people love you for what you possess and or what they can take from you, they do NOT love you for who you are. He wants to scare you and debilitate you from actually believing God is seriously sovereign over demons/devil. He tempts you in the areas of your life where you think you aren't strong enough. He will turn you into an addict of sin. He will pretend to be your friend and give you all that you want if you just listen to him and true as it may be in this time, it is only temporary, when you suddenly realize you're in hell for eternity.

That's what I've learned so far.

This i know yet naive i still am

Love becomes sharper with time.
Grace shall raise a man.
A test for love is to contain, to have command in a give, a wait, and receive.
Love is pure in submission to the greater love.
Love is secure established and lived in truth.
Love is more than affections.
Love seeks to understand the heart.
Love exercises the mind.
Love suffers silently and with a deeper purpose.
Love has a focus.
Love is about Him, You, and me.
Love is intentionally purposeful.
Love shall illuminate the good.
Love shall shed light on the conflict.
Love identifies the wound.
Love gains trust.
Love consumes the heart and mind and unites differences.
Love begets love.
Love empowers and delivers consistently.
Love fuels virtue.
Love responds wisely.
Love thinks, feels, speaks, listens, gives, cares, endeavors and sacrifices.
Love is committed, dedicated, faithful, steadfast, enduring.
Love is harmonious.
Love penetrates through barriers.
Love speaks quietly and heard quite audibly.
Love shall experience.
Love is great and greater still.
Love resides in the past, here, and later.
Love builds success.
Love protects and is unwavering.
Love discerns accurately.

Decided

Where do his affections go..?
he gives freely and still awaits to know...
his heart faints being poured out...
shall he continue until he's all out...?

he looks to the heavens above, for his cries to be heard...
desired to be filled with a deeper love...
a love never to be scarred...
befallen on him the pure white dove...

freely he will give...
his heart will live...
he will pursue...
he waits for this wish to be true...

May i hold your hand?

The uneasiness of this is, i'm so new to this...
The way i feel seems too ludicrous...
To show you my cards...
Almost without self-regard...

Is this what man shall do..?
Shall he walk to uncertainty, without a clue..?
To walk filled with hope that this would be true...
i carry on to know if this glass shoe would be for you...

Affections Released...
Hoping this ends like beauty & the beast...
My barriers now brought low...
Here i am, nothing more to show...

You are beautiful...
You are wonderful...
Your joy and delight is mine...
i bless God for in you is divine...

Beside you, as i now stand,
I wonder may i hold your Hand..?

Daughter Embraced with Majesty

She cannot be seen with human eyes...
She is a Good friend, entitled best helper...
Discerning eyes can she be seen, thus thy heart shall rise...
Her soul has no limit; to think one arrived errs, she's deeper...

With her, one enters a safe-home, a prepared sanctuary...
Her heart is that of a mother, unconditional...
Her strength is her joy deeply-seated, mysteriously...
Her beauty knows no bound, inviolable & indestructible...

She stands on the timeless Ebenezer...
A message she shall deliver...
King of Glory upon her crown...
Again her form knows no bound...
She is radically & intimately known...
Her being is not seen by human reasons...
Maybe one shall touch her, after many seasons...
She is living proof of God's love divine...

Her guidance of her siblings, The Father delights in...
In her weakness is power and authority...
Pride resides, nonetheless defined by humility...
She thought to receive is better than to give in regard of totality...
But all the while others watch as she does well to apply giving is better than to receive...
Which of these is she..?
Truth be told His Glory both gave and received...

Fearfully and wonderfully made,
A daughter embraced with majesty...

If you did not know.

I fix my eyes toward yours,
As if to see inside your doors.
You may have a clue, if any longer that I gaze,
I look away to prevent me from this craze
But I wish you could see what I feel.
This is what I felt, you tearing down these walls of steel
I guess its true a man could melt.

I have come to this conclusion,
I will give you my admiration.
I no longer want just friends,
I want to win your heart,
But here is my simple problem,
I guess it just depends,
If you will meet me with the other part,
to receive me in your heart.

I will move to the next.
Here I am, I hold my breath.
I wait for you to meet me.
My affections go free.